Once upon a time there was a boy who at night under his blanket did things you do not talk about. And because they were things you do not talk about he never ever came to know if others also did what he did. And bye and bye he began to get restless and nervous: Did he never hear of those things because they were things you do not talk about? Or did he never hear of those things because no one else did what he did? Was it normal to do such things? Did other boys also do it? And girls? Could girls do it too? And why did no one ever say something about it? Maybe only very, very bad people did it? Or was he the only one in the whole world who did it? And why did people not talk about it? People talk about everything. They say: Oh, yesterday we had a fantastic dinner, veggie-burger with chocolate sauce, and for starters we had…
Or they say: Oh, but didn’t we have a laugh today when Sammy and the cat…
But no one, no one ever comes to breakfast in the morning and says: Well last night, after going to bed, I had a fantastic time doing – well, that.
The poor boy got more and more depressed and even frightened: Maybe something was wrong with him? Maybe he was ill? Maybe he was abnormal?
So as not to show his fears and misgivings he began to behave very cool and arrogant. And to keep others from suspecting him of doing that, he began to joke about people who do that. And when he thought someone was doing that, he jeered and made fun of them.
Oh, if he only had known that most everybody does it. Boys do it, girls do it, grown-ups do it, even the married ones, teachers and doctors and lawyers do it, grandfathers and grandmothers do it, everybody, well almost everybody does it.
You still don’t know what I’m talking about? Do I have to spell it out? Do I really have to say it out loud what it is that everybody does secretly under their blankets and no one ever talks about? Well, scraping the dirt from between their toes and rolling it into little balls!
Or what did you think?
Oh, come on, everybody does that too!