That

Once upon a time there was a boy who at night under his blanket did things you do not talk about. And because they were things you do not talk about he never ever came to know if others also did what he did. And bye and bye he began to get restless and nervous: Did he never hear of those things because they were things you do not talk about? Or did he never hear of those things because no one else did what he did? Was it normal to do such things? Did other boys also do it? And girls? Could girls do it too? And why did no one ever say something about it? Continue reading

Princess Snotty Nose

nose3.jpgOnce the princess was taking a walk in the garden. After a while she met the prince. And the prince said to her: “Pardon me, princess, but you have – ahem – a little bogey sticking to your nose!”

But the princess said: “So what? Let it stick there!” and walked away.

“Oh dear!” said the prince. “If the princess has a bogey sticking to her nose, I will not comb my hair anymore!”

After a while the prince met the king. “But my dear prince”, said the king, “why is your hair not combed?”

“Oh Mr. King sir”, said the prince, “I do not comb my hair, because the princess has a little bogey sticking to her nose!”

“Oh dear!” said the king. “If the princess has a bogey sticking to her nose, I will not wash anymore!”

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Dreams in the Night

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Once there were two children who had to take leave from each other, because one had to go this way and the other one that way. When they said goodbye they promised to dream of each other so they would not have to be so sad. And this they did, and in their dreams they were courageous and strong.

Once they climbed a high mountain together, and it took them many days. And they kept each other warm in the night and they helped each other get over the crevices and held each others hand when they had to pass by the terrifying abyss where death was lurking deep down .

Once they were together in a small boat, all alone in the vastness of the sea, and they took turns rowing and shared the last piece of bread and in the lonely nights they saw stars they had never seen before.

Once they were together just playing. And one child said to the other: “Look, I can fly!” Und it soared up and hovered right under the ceiling. This made the other child sad.

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Now now Markus

now_now_markus_ausschnitt.jpgOne day Markus said to his parents, “I want a bird!”
“Oh, my goodness,” said his mother.
“Now, now, now,” said his father.
“A beautiful bird, but not in a cage!”
“Oh, my goodness,” said his mother.
“Now, now, now,” said his father.
“My bird will sleep in my bed with me, and eat breakfast with me,” said Markus.
“Oh, my goodness,” said his mother.
“Now, now, now,” said his father.
“So do I get a bird or don’t I?” asked Markus.
“I won’t have a bird in my house,” said his mother.
“And certainly not without a cage,” said his father.
“Fine,” said Markus. “Then I will drop dead on the spot!”
And he did.
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Lucky Benny

Benny is a lucky child. His mother always has time for him and looks after him.
“Good morning” she says in the morning, “time to get up, Benny! Do you want to wear the green trousers today or the blue ones? I put out the blue ones for you. You should wear the yellow shirt with them, it goes well with the blue. Don’t forget your braces! Yesterday your pants were hanging about your waist something terrible. You won’t forget to wash your ears, will you? Wait, I will help you. See, now the ears are nice and clean. Use the new toothbrush when you brush your teeth, the old one seems to be frayed already. Continue reading

Lily Loosit

Lily Loosit always lost something. Oh, she was so careful. Really! But it was no good. Whenever she went away from home something got lost. When she was allowed to got to the park with her new red ball, mother said: “But, please, child, don’t go and loose it again the first the day you have it!” And Lily held on to the ball as if it were the crown jewels. She gripped it so desperately that her fingertips grew white, and when she tossed it in the air, she did that with great caution and not higher than the tip of her nose, as if she were afraid it would not come down again if she tossed it too high.

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Brave little Patty

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In the afternoon Patricia got sick. After lunch she didn’t get up from her chair, she just sat there and stared at the tablecloth. Her whole body seemed to be hurting, arms and legs were heavy as lead and behind her eyes there was a very unpleasant pressure. She couldn’t be bothered to move, she felt paralysed.

“I have a headache!” she said to her mother.

“Yes, sure”, said mother, “it seems you don’t feel like making your homework, am I right?”

“No, really, everything is hurting, my shoulders, my knees, my fingertips. I feel terrible, I couldn’t even touch anything.”

Now her mother became apprehensive and took a closer look at Patty: “Let’s see, maybe you really don’t look too well after all. Let’s just take your temperature!”

And then Patty was sent to bed with a hot water bottle and the doctor was called. He said he would come as soon as possible.

“Do you need anything else?” mother asked.

“No”, Patty said weakly, “I think I won’t ever need anything anymore!”
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The Clumsiest Boy in the World

clumsie.jpgOnce there was a boy who was so clumsy he could prick his finger with a boiled macaroni. He managed to swallow a glass of milk, and that means including the glass, and mother had to thump his back for three hours until it came out again. And of course the glass came out last. He was so clumsy his bicycle drove backwards, and when he put on his trousers he always ended up with both legs in one trouser leg. When he picked his nose his finger got stuck and the doctor had to be sent for, and he was the only boy in the whole world who had broken his earlobe playing football.

“Why do you have to be such a klutz?” his father used to grumble.

“Why can’t you be more careful?” his mother used to wail.

And his sister said: “Ah, Robbie is too stupid even to take a crap !”

And although this was a very bad thing to say, there was some truth in it.
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The Giant and the Mouse

Once a mouse made up his mind to make the acquaintance of a giant.

“Are you crazy?” the other mice said. “Giants are gigantic and very dangerous. A giant won’t even eat you, he’ll just breath you in like a gnat.”

“Oh”, said the mouse, “but I so badly want to make the acquaintance of a giant. Maybe I can be of service to him and he will learn not to look down on little animals. Do you remember the story of the lion and the mouse? The lion had been caught in a net and the tiny little mouse gnawed a whole in the net and freed the great big lion!”

“These are old stories”, said the other mice. You just take care!”

But the mouse would not listen and started off on his journey.
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Story of a Good Teacher

lehrer_01.gifA long, long time ago, so long it isn’t really true anymore, there lived a king. And this king had a son who was extraordinarily, unspeakably, unconceivably – stupid! Do you want an example? His tutor – of course he had a tutor all for himself, and this tutor had to tutor the prince whenever he was awake, that means about six hours a day – anyway, his tutor had tought him with great effort and trouble that two plus two equals four.
“Oh, your Royal Highness has made wonderful progress in maths”, said the tutor. “So let us now consider the following little problem: How much equals one plus three?
“Don’t know!” said the prince.
“If Your Highness would please consider: One finger plus three fingers, how much will that be if we count them?”
“Don’t know!” said the prince.
“I implore Your Highness, please: just count the fingers: one plus three equals four!”
“Can’t be!” said the prince.
“And what makes Your Highness think that?”
“Because”, said the prince, “just now you said two plus two equals four!”
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